prone to wander.

There were three digits of degrees Fahrenheit today. That is too many.

Okay, so i'm a weird person now, which may or may not come as a surprise to you (probably not), but when i was a kid, my strange/odd/preposterous side was much more visible to even the less discerning of eyes. This tended to manifest itself in many ways, but one was that from the age of (as far as i can tell) 5 to 7, it seems that i wore the same outfit about four days a week in the summer. It was simplicity at its finest and fashion in its grave. Orange tank top. Teal shorts.

Now, earlier in this summer--which, by the way, draws swiftly to a close, even as i write--i was scanning some pictures for my sister's upcoming wedding and noticed this fact which i have just disclosed. Seriously, these are pictures for her wedding, so it follows naturally that i would not be in that many of them. Therefore, the number of pictures that i was in and found myself in that age bracket would be even smaller (this is statistics. multiply those two together to find the answer.) HOWEVER, i found no less than three pictures of me in that very outfit. Orange tank top. Teal shorts.

It gets better. So, when my mom confirmed that i did, in fact, wear that outfit all the time, i decided something. i decided then and there that i would actually fuse together my past and my present. i felt some sort of explosion might even take place when it happened. So i began a quest to find an orange tank top and teal shorts, and once found, wear them four days a week. Give or take. But everywhere i went, disappointment. Red tanks, three shades of blue tanks, green tanks, yellow tanks. Taupe tank tops. NO ORANGE TANKS ANYWHERE. Why the Sam Hill there aren't any orange tank tops for sale, anywhere, is beyond my wildest guesses, but the fact is that my quest had turned into a tragic comedy.

Well, suffice it to say that my dejection over this matter was not epic (for that is a ravaged word) but was on all accounts unprecedented. True, it wasn't affecting my appetite (at least not yet), but i do think that it kept me from some sleep on some nights. One can never be sure.

An aside: i realize there may be readers who wonder why there is a woman in my picture and yet i rarely write about her on here. i have reasons for this which i think are good, and honestly, those reasons are no business of yours. In an age of everyone knowing everyone's business, i choose not to be a part of everyone, and that is my prerogative.

She plays an absolutely integral part in this quest, though, and so i must break my own rules in this post. i'd be lying if i said i didn't relish that opportunity. She, of course, knows all about how weird i am, and yet still likes to be seen in public with me. Mostly. The crazy thing is that that's not the most crazy thing about this story. You see, she knew how stressful the failing quest was for me, and she took up the quest with me. And last week, lo and behold, SHE FOUND ME AN ORANGE TANK TOP AND SURPRISED ME WITH IT AS A GIFT AND THE VERY NEXT DAY I FOUND TEAL SHORTS AT TJ MAXX ON SALE!



i shall post a picture of my fusion of past and present eventually. i am simply waiting for the world to be able to receive such an image. The house was buzzing with a sort of quasi-radioactivity today as i put on my new/old/atthesametime outfit.


the end.