only Love could make a way

i haven't had much sleep lately. and i've had a sinus infection. and exams. and stuff i hate dealing with. i just have a huge aversion to all of these things happening at once. it's like, come on, do i really deserve this now? i'm trying to have a life here, God. i'm trying to make A's and be cool and say nice things and just be the man. i want to have the right answers at the right time and sneer at people who have wrong answers all the time. i want to be recognized and envied. i'm 20 years old and i would much rather be 25. i hate wasting time, and yet my definition of wasting time is often completely twisted.

i don't know. i'm just ranting. But if i can't be honest here, where can i be honest? i guess what i'm getting at is that sometimes stuff happens--and maybe this is true in your life, too--where i just realize how utterly and completely i am lost in myself. Seriously, i am so prideful that i get to a place in my day where i get angry at other people for not noticing me in the way i think they should. In fact, there's a good chance that if you're reading this blog and know me, that you've experienced this part of me, whether you were aware of it or not. It's nothing short of sickening what this stupid, fleshly, carnal part of me will do to gratify itself.

i have nothing else to say, really. i have sin in my life. and not until i realize that what i make excuses for is actually sin do i begin to see that these are the things that Jesus came here for. He came to cleanse me of the black, slimy, corrosive sin in my heart. That's what is worthy of awe. Though i don't always realize just exactly what He has done for me, each time i get a glimpse of it, it just bowls me over. Only when i delight in who i am in Jesus can i keep from being consumed in who i pretend to be in my flesh.

simple on sunday

sometimes i wander
and circles i turn
and find myself lost
where am i going?

sometimes i wonder
and my self is unsure
who am i today?
where is I Am?

sometimes i ponder
and mirrors are blank
why is there death
and why is life defiled?

so everything moves
my body, mind, and soul
and the road becomes narrow
that leads to the Truth

but Truth is real
in my heart i know this much
for death was defeated,
life was restored

do you wander, wonder, and ponder?
what burns in the depths of you?
what road have you taken?
and if you had one sentence more,
what would you say?

The same Power that conquered the grave lives in me.

"Mexico City has 28 million inhabitants in its metropolitan area. There are over 400 universities in Mexico City filled with over 1 million students. The largest and most prestigious university in Latin America, UNAM, boasts 300,000 students by itself. El Zócalo is one of the oldest, largest squares in the world. Mexico City is big. Really, really big.

Since going to Mexico City last year for Spring Break, and especially in the last couple of months, I have been struck with just how big God is. I have seen that the King who came down to die for peasants like you and me is so big that He can take a really tall, white, non Spanish-speaking person like myself and still somehow use him in kingdom work in Mexico. It is really amazing actually, the paradoxical reality inside which we as Christians find ourselves. We know that Jesus is King, and yet we know that the Prince of this world is an evil one. We know that Jesus will come someday to physically rule with a mighty hand, but we also somehow see that Kingdom in part today. There is a constant tension between seeing Christ work in the lives of Mexican students first hand and then seeing vast mountain-sides covered in slums of people who are barely living. We see the frightening consequences of sin, and we see the power of Redemption at work. We watch for His return without forgetting that we are here for a reason. We put our faith individually in the Cross of the Messiah, but we act out our faith corporately with millions and billions of others. Our God is mighty to save and gentle to comfort. He is the Lamb and the Lion. He is both Servant and King. And Mexico is messy, yes, but it is also beautiful, because God is at work there."

When i put that into my "support" letter, i really just wanted to try to communicate the so-called "Beautiful Mess" that we have been discovering at CRU this year. i wanted to try to invite others to share the incredible lessons that we have seen already. Even last night after CRU, when we heard that the father of one of our adopted families had died, we saw that intensely powerful paradox first-hand. We had sung of our yearning for the Father. Our desire to see Him work in our lives and in our world and in our love. And then we see that this world is so broken that a family in that condition has just lost its Dad. Broken isn't even the right word. Shattered. Obliterated. Mangled beyond recognition. It is nothing like what God intended. And i just sat there almost numb. why? Why do these things happen? Because sin affects each and every part of our lives, whether or not we are even sinning.

But here is the absolutely amazing thing: the sin that has brought injustice, and war, and famine, and sickness--the sin that has brought death--it cannot stand up to the One who has conquered it. It has been given temporary reign here, sure. It can tear apart families. It can destroy relationships. It can ruin nations and peoples. It can even make your heart an eternal winter. But it can never hurt anything or anyone beyond repair, because Jesus can always mend a family. He can put back together relationships. He can preserve nations and peoples. Most of all, He can take your heart and warm it in His own embrace.

Jesus never promised that life would be easy. In fact, He told us it would be hard. He didn't tell us all the reasons why it would be hard, but i suspect that would just confuse our feeble minds anyways. In what He said, though, there is eternal Hope.

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Your Grace beyond reason has paid for our freedom.

Peter said, "You know all things! You know that I love You."


i have a good friend who wants to get a tattoo in Greek lettering that reads, "Love never ends." We can't say that about many objects or ideals in the world we live in. That statement is sort of tacked on to a famous section about love in 1 Corinthians 13. A huge cause of way too many problems is simply the fact that most people will apply "love" in ways that so vehemently oppose just that one simple statement.

Love is so well wrapped in the concept of a bondservant: it's the idea that we realize that the King has set us free, but because of Hislove for us, we offer our lives in eternal servitude back to Him. It's the idea that though we make mistakes, He will still welcome us back to Himself, saying "Follow me. Let me show you love as it applies to life, because I have taken the word love, and poured My life into it." Sometimes we Christians don't love the very Savior who loved us first, and so the church has become in large part a failure, especially in the West. We have taken the gift of salvation and perverted it to such an extent that it is merely a ticket to heaven and a get out of jail free card on earth. However, there are still some who, like Peter, have a love for Jesus that is real. These people will not be found perfect in anyone's eyes, but in their heart of hearts, they realize the only response to the Greatest Love is to give Him what feeble love they can muster. It's a small offering often, but it is all we have to give.









(photo by Samantha Floyd)

consúmenos

ideas are powerful. the most powerful revolutions in the world have been started by the most powerful ideas. the most powerful idea of all?

forgiveness.