we are living on the edge of eternity.
how are you preparing for it?

locus sigilli

"For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love."

God bends His ears just to hear what they say

It's snowing really hard right now. Earlier, i was tired of doing homework, and so i closed the books and just walked outside for a while. You know, i really love snow. i have always just really enjoyed seeing it fall. i don't ski or snowboard or anything on it; i just like to watch it. It brings me peace and it allows me an escape. As i was walking i began to wonder if i would like snow as much if it was always falling? i don't think i would.

Then i began to think, what if i began to look at the hard times in my life in the same way i look at snow? What if i saw in my trials that same cold, hard, vivid beauty of the snow covered mountains around me? As something which makes the beauty of Spring and Summer that much more alive? As an opportunity to deepen my appreciation of the warmth of the unfathomable love of Jesus Christ?

All too often i am just like the people here who complain incessantly about the snow, simply because it makes their morning commute a little messier than normal. Simply because they have to wear ugly boots and wear unfashionable clothes and have messed up hair. i complain about the smallest hardships in my life, refusing to see them as the "light and momentary afflictions" that Paul speaks of. The thing about snow is that i enjoy it because i know that i can run back into my apartment when it gets too cold and windy. And so it is with my life, although i don't often live that way.

The reality is that the world can be bitterly cold at times. It can batter you around with a wind so furious that you lose all sense of direction. It can blind you and leave you feeling numb to everything and everyone around you. But that is why i believe so firmly in the saving grace of Jesus and what He did on the cross for you and i. He said "in this world you will have troubles, but take heart, for I have overcome the world." That is only thing that really gives me a purpose. i pretend all the time that other things fulfill my need for meaning, but when the rubber meets the road, these are just lies i feed to myself. And people say that Christians just use Jesus as a crutch. Well, i have yet to meet a person that didn't need a crutch of some sort. My God is much better than a crutch, though. He is mighty to save.

only Love could make a way

i haven't had much sleep lately. and i've had a sinus infection. and exams. and stuff i hate dealing with. i just have a huge aversion to all of these things happening at once. it's like, come on, do i really deserve this now? i'm trying to have a life here, God. i'm trying to make A's and be cool and say nice things and just be the man. i want to have the right answers at the right time and sneer at people who have wrong answers all the time. i want to be recognized and envied. i'm 20 years old and i would much rather be 25. i hate wasting time, and yet my definition of wasting time is often completely twisted.

i don't know. i'm just ranting. But if i can't be honest here, where can i be honest? i guess what i'm getting at is that sometimes stuff happens--and maybe this is true in your life, too--where i just realize how utterly and completely i am lost in myself. Seriously, i am so prideful that i get to a place in my day where i get angry at other people for not noticing me in the way i think they should. In fact, there's a good chance that if you're reading this blog and know me, that you've experienced this part of me, whether you were aware of it or not. It's nothing short of sickening what this stupid, fleshly, carnal part of me will do to gratify itself.

i have nothing else to say, really. i have sin in my life. and not until i realize that what i make excuses for is actually sin do i begin to see that these are the things that Jesus came here for. He came to cleanse me of the black, slimy, corrosive sin in my heart. That's what is worthy of awe. Though i don't always realize just exactly what He has done for me, each time i get a glimpse of it, it just bowls me over. Only when i delight in who i am in Jesus can i keep from being consumed in who i pretend to be in my flesh.

simple on sunday

sometimes i wander
and circles i turn
and find myself lost
where am i going?

sometimes i wonder
and my self is unsure
who am i today?
where is I Am?

sometimes i ponder
and mirrors are blank
why is there death
and why is life defiled?

so everything moves
my body, mind, and soul
and the road becomes narrow
that leads to the Truth

but Truth is real
in my heart i know this much
for death was defeated,
life was restored

do you wander, wonder, and ponder?
what burns in the depths of you?
what road have you taken?
and if you had one sentence more,
what would you say?

The same Power that conquered the grave lives in me.

"Mexico City has 28 million inhabitants in its metropolitan area. There are over 400 universities in Mexico City filled with over 1 million students. The largest and most prestigious university in Latin America, UNAM, boasts 300,000 students by itself. El Zócalo is one of the oldest, largest squares in the world. Mexico City is big. Really, really big.

Since going to Mexico City last year for Spring Break, and especially in the last couple of months, I have been struck with just how big God is. I have seen that the King who came down to die for peasants like you and me is so big that He can take a really tall, white, non Spanish-speaking person like myself and still somehow use him in kingdom work in Mexico. It is really amazing actually, the paradoxical reality inside which we as Christians find ourselves. We know that Jesus is King, and yet we know that the Prince of this world is an evil one. We know that Jesus will come someday to physically rule with a mighty hand, but we also somehow see that Kingdom in part today. There is a constant tension between seeing Christ work in the lives of Mexican students first hand and then seeing vast mountain-sides covered in slums of people who are barely living. We see the frightening consequences of sin, and we see the power of Redemption at work. We watch for His return without forgetting that we are here for a reason. We put our faith individually in the Cross of the Messiah, but we act out our faith corporately with millions and billions of others. Our God is mighty to save and gentle to comfort. He is the Lamb and the Lion. He is both Servant and King. And Mexico is messy, yes, but it is also beautiful, because God is at work there."

When i put that into my "support" letter, i really just wanted to try to communicate the so-called "Beautiful Mess" that we have been discovering at CRU this year. i wanted to try to invite others to share the incredible lessons that we have seen already. Even last night after CRU, when we heard that the father of one of our adopted families had died, we saw that intensely powerful paradox first-hand. We had sung of our yearning for the Father. Our desire to see Him work in our lives and in our world and in our love. And then we see that this world is so broken that a family in that condition has just lost its Dad. Broken isn't even the right word. Shattered. Obliterated. Mangled beyond recognition. It is nothing like what God intended. And i just sat there almost numb. why? Why do these things happen? Because sin affects each and every part of our lives, whether or not we are even sinning.

But here is the absolutely amazing thing: the sin that has brought injustice, and war, and famine, and sickness--the sin that has brought death--it cannot stand up to the One who has conquered it. It has been given temporary reign here, sure. It can tear apart families. It can destroy relationships. It can ruin nations and peoples. It can even make your heart an eternal winter. But it can never hurt anything or anyone beyond repair, because Jesus can always mend a family. He can put back together relationships. He can preserve nations and peoples. Most of all, He can take your heart and warm it in His own embrace.

Jesus never promised that life would be easy. In fact, He told us it would be hard. He didn't tell us all the reasons why it would be hard, but i suspect that would just confuse our feeble minds anyways. In what He said, though, there is eternal Hope.

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Your Grace beyond reason has paid for our freedom.

Peter said, "You know all things! You know that I love You."


i have a good friend who wants to get a tattoo in Greek lettering that reads, "Love never ends." We can't say that about many objects or ideals in the world we live in. That statement is sort of tacked on to a famous section about love in 1 Corinthians 13. A huge cause of way too many problems is simply the fact that most people will apply "love" in ways that so vehemently oppose just that one simple statement.

Love is so well wrapped in the concept of a bondservant: it's the idea that we realize that the King has set us free, but because of Hislove for us, we offer our lives in eternal servitude back to Him. It's the idea that though we make mistakes, He will still welcome us back to Himself, saying "Follow me. Let me show you love as it applies to life, because I have taken the word love, and poured My life into it." Sometimes we Christians don't love the very Savior who loved us first, and so the church has become in large part a failure, especially in the West. We have taken the gift of salvation and perverted it to such an extent that it is merely a ticket to heaven and a get out of jail free card on earth. However, there are still some who, like Peter, have a love for Jesus that is real. These people will not be found perfect in anyone's eyes, but in their heart of hearts, they realize the only response to the Greatest Love is to give Him what feeble love they can muster. It's a small offering often, but it is all we have to give.









(photo by Samantha Floyd)

consúmenos

ideas are powerful. the most powerful revolutions in the world have been started by the most powerful ideas. the most powerful idea of all?

forgiveness.

and the groom crushes the glass with his foot, hoping that next year, God's people would have a home.

Here is a question to ponder: What is the most effective form of revolution? When i say effective, i mean a long-lasting, world changing type of revolution.

Is it the French Revolution type, with blood flowing unbridled? Or the Enlightenment type, with people depending solely on their minds to elevate society? Is it best sparked by words, or are actions the most useful impetus? Are they fueled hottest by a yearning to get away from something bad or is the best fire the one that burns up the passions of those seeking to attain something higher, deeper? There is a difference, i'm convinced. To leave something bad and to have nowhere to go is to thrust yourself into only another cellar, one that may even be worse than the one you've just left.

It is interesting. The French revolution gave way to much bloodier ones. Just look at the civil war that has ridden Rwanda and much of Africa. The picture above is of a man who did not support the genocide taking place in Rwanda, was placed in a concentration camp, nearly starved to death, and hacked with machetes. He was rescued by the Red Cross. (See the last post concerning foreign aid.) If you aren't familiar with the revolutionary genocide that took place in Rwanda, it was, very simply, this: between 800,000 and 1 million people were slaughtered in 1994. Over 300,000 children were orphaned. (There is much more involved, and i would encourage you to read about it, because it makes this story so much more powerful.)It was a revolution. A bloody one that no one likes to discuss. But was it effective? As you think about the question i posed, you should read this article. It is an absolutely amazing account of how one revolution was replaced by another. It is simply unfathomable what this kind of revolution can do. Read it. Think about it. Look into the gacaca courts and the incredible hand they've had in rebuilding the nation of Rwanda. And then ask yourself again, "What is the most effective form of revolution?"

catch for us the foxes.

"We live in a beautiful world."

That's what Chris Martin wrote, anyway. i mean sure, the statement depends solely on your point of view in said world, but right now i can definitely see that. It has been snowing for i think three days solid? I love the snow. That's why the world i'm living in is at least superficially beautiful, for now. That's the thing about the superficial, though. It's always changing face and definition. What's great and awesome today is outdated and faded tomorrow. Great and awesome. I need to do a better job with my adjectives. Anyways, more deeply, the world is beautiful in some ways that have absolutely nothing to do with the various points of view contained in it. Jesus said, "I am making everything new!"



Today the United States of America inaugurated its 44th president. Barack Obama is his name. aka Change, Hope, etc. i don't usually delve into politics here, but i care a great deal about it, so why not. If you hate me for what i say, then shame on you. If you hate the words themselves, well, shame on them i guess. There's no shame on me because this is my blog. I did not vote for this man. This doesn't matter much, though, because enough people did so that he was rightfully and legitimately elected. But i am starting to hear a message that goes somewhat like this: "We all just need to root for him because our country needs him at this time in our history. Just put aside our differences and help the man." This is a huge bunch of rubbish. If i wanted to Obama to succeed, i would have voted for him. As it is, i disagree with every single ideal he has put forth, though they are few and far between and scattered amongst a bunch of words like "change" and "hope" so that even if he has no substance he still is a savior. What i want is for the U.S. to succeed, and i think it has its best chance succeeding if most of what Obama is saying (especially regarding the economy, abortion, foreign diplomacy, social reform, etc.) never, ever happens.

There are many Christians who voted for Obama in large part because they think that he will help the poor more and provide more aid to third world countries. These are things the Bible teaches, and so i can easily see why his economic policies would strike a chord with those of us who care about those less fortunate than ourselves. The problem is that we Christians are often even more ignorant than the rest of the population and have no idea that policies like increasing the minimum wage will in fact do nothing but hurt the poor in the long run. They have no idea that in taxing the rich until they bleed will eventually cause that tax bracket to become nonexistent. Nevermind that those countries most in need are most corrupt. Why not try to change the root of the problem? Nevermind that it is nigh impossible for the Federal Gov't .to monitor "foreign aid" once it gets to countries like Nigeria. Nevermind that it is well documented that the most efficient aid comes from places like the Red Cross and other organizations that go to those countries directly with help, bypassing their corrupt governments altogether.

What i can't figure out is, where in the Bible does it say that governments are supposed to help the poor and unemployed? It doesn't. What it does say is that Christians should be doing that individually. The only reason why there is an issue is because we haven't done nearly enough. Start doing more yourself and stop complaining about the government.

i know i sound like sour grapes. But really, i am not. i know that God for some reason put Obama in that seat, and i also know that it wasn't because He agreed with his politics. That is the reason why i will continue to fight against the tide that embraces emotion and words without seeking truth. People say they prayed about voting before voting for Obama, good for you. But did you use your mind to dig into the issues for real truth? You can't change your vote, but you can change your intellect. You can choose to do some research. You can refuse to just take at face value the things that sound good. For heaven's sake, please just stop being content with everyone else's "knowledge" and seek some for yourself.